I just want to cry. I am the wife of a man with Aspergers. We have been married for 47 years. Where was this knowledge 40 years ago? This reads like my life. Even though I love my husband, I have built up a tremendous amount of animosity, pain, misunderstandings, etc in my life.
When one of our sons was diagnosed with ADHD in , I became aware that my husband had similar problems. At this time I became extremely depressed and suicidal. I have had lots of talking therapy and lots of different medications. I have been so lonely inside, and yet it is unexplainable. We did not know of these things when I married him. I have not divorced him because I believe in marriage.
Not until I just read this article did I know others had these very problems and feelings. In November I wanted to die. Somehow I manage to go on, but I keep everything inside. You have no idea what a relief this is. I have been going crazy this past year struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety due to my relationship.
This was my first romantic relationship. We have amazing memories and I love him so much. We have gone through many struggles this year and it has greatly affected me. I used to be happy and independent and feel loved and like I have purpose. We constantly fight and I am blamed for everything. I feel guilty for the things he blames me for and it tears me apart inside. Sex is only physical and it is quick.. I lack that feeling of emotional intimacy and contact.
I thought I was so alone.. I never knew anyone else felt the same and was dealing with all the same stuff. Thank you for your article. After almost 4 years of struggling in a relationship with my partner, I finally am convinced that he has Asperger syndrome. We are both seniors and our years or days are counted. Is there an support group for us, partners of AS people?
It would be nice to receive and feel continuous support. Im too in a relationship with a man with aspergers. We have been together for the past 11 years and have 2 beautiful children together. However the whole experiance is an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like someone has put me in a washing machine for the past 11 years and pressed the spin button.
Now when I realized that he has aspergers it all makes sense to me. I have struggled to keep my sanity for the sake of my kids and feel so lonely and empty inside. It feels like he has taken me on a different planet. We are not married and I am considering spliting up. I would hate to spent the rest of my life in this blur existence. I still want to feel loved, touched, kissed and adored. I somehow lost the hope its possible. Is anyone out there who has been in similar position and managed to turn things around?
In order for the recipient to get the correct message, the person with Asperger's Syndrome often has to state the message directly, and the recipient has to give a direct response.
If read the wrong way, the message ends up getting lost or misinterpreted. For the recipient to understand someone with Asperger's, they have to pick apart every thing the sender is trying to say because the sender might not have the capability to use the correct gestures. This in itself will set someone up for failure in a relationship just about every time, unless the person sought has a very high degree of compassion and understanding.
Click here for the full range of Asperger's and autism fact sheets and personal stories at www. This story is reprinted with the permission of Mr Coffee who organizes an Asperger's syndrome forum at www. Emotion is another realm that befuddles people with Asperger's. It is often said that they lack empathy.
What it does not mean, however, is that they lack all compassion. This is absolutely not the case. On the positive side, this is something valuable they have to offer in the area of friendship: The more aloof individuals with Asperger's have been likened to Mr. Spock of Star Trek — the logic-bound Vulcan who saw human passion as distasteful and barely comprehensible. Skip to main content.